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I'm freaking pissed off now.. Juz somehow "quarrel" with one fren whom I considered close to.. I dunno why everything juz turn so ugly.. I dunno for wat I feel so enraged...
How I wish I can juz heck care everything.. Why muz I get so affected by wat you said?? WHY?! Thanks for saying all those things.. They juz simply hurts.. But nv did you noe how sharp your words are.. Piercing through my heart like nobody's business... Blood oozing like a flowing bank of river.. Fuck it!!
For the past few weeks.. I tried so hard to revive our frenship.. Said wat I should say.. Done everything tat I can juz to make u feel better.. Tried to be there when u need a listening ear.. You said u appreciate them.. But few days ago through the msn you said I fake them.. I'm so free? Spending my time faking concern trying my best to talk to you and encourage you? I dun have my own things to stress abt and feel troubled? Why keep telling me to have empathy when you dun even have it? Or simply I juz deserve all this shit?? Everything juz went wrong.. Totally wrong... Since the day you told me tat malicious joke tat you shouldn't have did so.. But nv did you feel you've done anything wrong tat hurts me so much.. I really regretted for doing all those stupid stuffs.. Juz to hold this frenship back when I dun even feel tat you give a damn abt it.. Or maybe you did.. Juz tat I overlooked everything..
I totally dun have the mood for anything at all now... Maybe I shouldn't get so affected over such trivial matters.. I'm juz a twerp in your eyes.. I should juz get on with my life.. My oh-so-peaceful life before I met you..
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Cheyenne
21st
this year
